Je t'aime
by Artemis Sherwood
Summary: Balthazar was resurrected to become a guardian angel to a young woman suffering from depression. Taking pity on her, the angel attempts to bring his charge from the depths of her pain and finds himself falling fast for her kind heart and curious soul. (Title may change.)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So this story is really just a way of me coping with my own depression. (Just throwing that out there.) Basically, this is my interpretation of Balthazar being resurrected and falling in love. I've never written anything for Supernatural before, so this is a little nerve wracking for me. Hopefully somebody will like it.**

* * *

When Balthazar's eyes fluttered open, he found himself staring up at the night sky. His brows drew together in confusion; there were no stars in Purgatory. The moon shone full and bright overhead as the angel sat up.

An image suddenly flashed across his mind's eye and Balthazar jolted in surprise. He pressed his hand to his forehead in an attempt to clear his mind, but the image flashed again. He grunted in confusion and closed his eyes to focus completely on the image.

 _A girl?_ he thought to himself.

The image was of a young girl with close cut brown hair, curious hazel eyes, silver-rimmed glasses, and a softly rounded face. Once Balthazar fully comprehended what the image was, it disappeared and a thought was places into his mind.

 _Oh, bloody…_ He rolled his eyes and sighed heavily. _Really? Guardianship? I'm pulled from Purgatory for this?_

The angel sighed again and dragged his hands across his face. He wasn't guardian material, he didn't _want_ to be a guardian. But it was definitely an order from his father, and Daddy dearest's orders were meant to be followed.

Balthazar struggled to his feet, his muscles tight and stiff. He glanced down and saw that his old vessel had been restored to him, and the injuries he had sustained were healed. He rolled his shoulders and extended his wings experimentally, something he had been unable to do in Purgatory. His feathers shifted and ruffled as a breeze drifted by.

With another sigh, Balthazar focused on the location of the girl from his vision and suddenly disappeared with the sound of feathers rustling in his wake.

~ B ~

The first thing he heard was a girl's voice, singing sweetly somewhere behind him. He turned and quickly waved his hand to turn himself invisible. Standing behind him at the end of the hallway he had appeared in was the girl from his vision, facing away from him and with large headphones strapped over her ears. She was singing in French in a voice that, now that he could fully pay attention, nearly drew his breath away.

" _Je t'aime, je t'aime. Comme un fou, comme un soldat. Comme une star de cinéma._ " The girl pushed open a door to her right and stepped through the doorway. " _Je t'aime, je t'aime. Comme un loup, comme un roi. Comme un homme que je ne suis pas. Tu vois, je t'aime comme ça._ "

Balthazar apparated from the hallway to the room, making sure he was still invisible. The girl was humming along to the song playing in her headphones, her eyes half open and a content expression on her face. She moved to the bed that had been pushed up against one of the walls and sat down as she pulled a cellphone from her pants pocket.

Balthazar crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the wall opposite the bed. The girl looked like any other human; a few inches shorter than his vessel, a handful of freckles dotted across her skin, and a round, plump figure.

The girl began singing the same words from before as she looked at her phone. Balthazar gazed curiously at her as she sang, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. His father had certainly gifted her with a beautiful voice. But as she sang, the angel couldn't help but wonder…

Why had he been sent to this girl? Was she in trouble, in danger? What was so special about her that had called for his resurrection?

Narrowing his eyes, Balthazar looked into the girl's mind. He read through all of her memories in a millisecond and with a sharp inhalation, he understood why she needed a guardian angel. The girl, Diana, was incredibly depressed and hurting a great deal. He felt the hopelessness in her mind, the sorrow and the pain, the loneliness, and shook his head.

While he didn't take to his father's hairless apes as well as some of his brothers and sisters, Balthazar did still like them. And this girl, his new charge, stirred a sense of compassion and sympathy in his being.

He certainly wasn't thrilled with his job assignment, but Balthazar wasn't cruel. Arrogant and self-driven, yes, but not purposefully cruel. This human needed hope, a light at the end of her dark depression. He would help his new charge if he possibly could.

His glimpse into Diana's mind had shown him a handful of ways he could try and lift her spirits. With another wave of his hand, the angel disappeared without a trace.

* * *

 **A/N: The version of the song "Je t'aime" that I used as inspiration was from Jackie Evancho's latest album.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: My OCs depression is explored and explained later in the chapter, just in case anyone needs a warning or anything. Otherwise, I'm glad everyone likes the story so far and I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

Diana Scott was extremely gifted with music and she loved to learn more about her passion. She already knew how to play one instrument, something she had picked up during her middle and high school years, but she desperately wanted to learn to play piano. So Balthazar reached into her mind and merely amplified that desire.

After two weeks of wanting more and more to learn piano, Diana finally decided to talk to her family about it. She lived at home with her mother and grandmother, as she had for most of her nineteen years. Her father had died serving for the Army when she was just a year old and after his death, her mother decided to move back home and live with Diana's grandmother.

Diana was nervous about asking to learn piano seeing as lessons were often out of her family's price range. Not to mention the fact that she would most likely need to buy a keyboard if she wanted to dedicate herself to learning to play the instrument. Her mother was a teacher and although the job payed well, sometimes money was a little tight over the summer. A household of three wasn't easily supported on one paycheck and one small retirement check.

But much to Diana's surprise and excitement, her mother agreed to start looking for a teacher. Oddly enough, both of the local music stores had shut down without explanation the previous week and the only piano instructor in town had moved away. But a new music store, B. Roché's Music Store, had recently opened and the local newspaper ad said that music lessons and instruments were offered at incredibly low prices.

~ B ~

Diana glanced around the store as she walked inside, letting the door swing shut behind her. The walls were painted an off-white color and covered with posters of various Broadway musicals, classical musicians, and famous composers. On one side of the room was a large glass case that stretched across the length of the room, where a range of smaller instruments were on display inside. On the opposite side was a grand piano with the lid lifted and propped up. Behind the piano was a medium sized table with a handful of boxes on top, sheet music sticking out of a few boxes.

To her left, a man cleared his throat and Diana started in surprise. She turned her head and spotted who she guessed was the owner of the shop. He was tall, probably five or six inches taller than her, and had a head of dirty blonde hair that made his bright blue eyes stand out. He had a light dusting of facial hair along his chin and upper lip, but nowhere else. The man was wearing a light gray t-shirt with a surprisingly deep v-neck, a black leather jacket, and a snug pair of dark blue jeans.

"Hello, darling," the man called to her in a British accent. "Can I help you?"

Diana smiled a little shyly at the man and cleared her throat. "I-I was just looking around," she said softly.

"Did you have anything specific in mind?" he asked.

Looking around the shop again, Diana's eyes fell on the piano. She wanted desperately to sit down and fiddle around on it, but she didn't know anything about the instrument and she didn't want to embarrass herself in front of this man. Balthazar smirked when his charge looked over at the piano and he started to walk out from behind the counter.

"Interested in that?"

Diana looked back at him and shrugged. "I don't know anything about pianos," she admitted.

Balthazar walked over to the piano and sat down at the bench, quickly adjusting his feet so they were comfortable at the pedals. He placed his hands on the keys with a flourish and a wicked smirk. Knowing that Diana's eyes were fixed on him, he began playing for her. He knew how desperately she wanted to learn about the instrument and he hope this would encourage her to do so.

Diana watched in awe as the man played a beautiful rendition of the famous ' _Moonlight Sonata_ '. His hands flew easily along the keyboard and his body moved smoothly with the rhythm of the music, like she often did when she sang. After a few moments, she felt her eyes flutter closed and her fingers twitched slightly in an attempt to move with the music. Without even realizing it, Diana had begun to softly sing with the bass melody an octave higher.

From where he sat at the piano, the angel's smirk turned into a genuine smile. He could hear her humming and he knew that if he looked back at her, he would see her hands moving delicately along with the melody. His charge had a love for music that rivaled her love for anything else in this world.

It wasn't until the song ended that Diana's eyes opened again. She immediately felt her cheeks flush pink when she saw that the man had turned so he was facing her on the bench. He was smirking at her and she knew he'd seen her lost in her own little world.

"That was beautiful," she said as she looked down at the floor.

"Thank you, ma chérie," the man replied as he stood up. He slid one hand partially into his pants pocket and stepped towards his charge. "You're welcome to play if you'd like."

Diana shook her head and smiled a little awkwardly. "Oh… No, I… Like I said, I don't know much about pianos. I just sort of mess around. Sometimes I can figure out part of a song I know, but that's it."

Balthazar watched as the girl looked back at the piano with a longing glint in her eyes. He ducked his head to try and catch her gaze as he said, "I could teach you."

The corners of the angel's lips tugged into a slight smile when Diana's head whipped around and her eyes locked onto his. He saw excitement shining behind her glasses, but that soon faded when she lowered her gaze to his shoulder.

"I don't know," she mumbled.

"It's not expensive, if that's what you're worried about."

Her eyes flickered back up to his and he raised his eyebrows. "I'd like to, but…" She trailed off, her reason lost to her as she stared into the man's stunning blue eyes.

He smiled kindly at her and tilted his head slightly to one side. "Do you play any other instruments?"

"Uh, yeah, flute. But not very well," she added. "Why?"

"Because if you already know one instrument, it makes learning piano that much easier, ma chérie."

Diana flushed at the term and smiled again. She looked back at the piano and felt her desire to learn outweigh her skepticism. "Well, I guess… If it's not _too_ expensive," she said as she looked back at the man.

"It's not," he assured her.

"Well, my mom's waiting for me in the car. I could bring her in…? Talk about lessons and everything?"

Balthazar nodded. "Of course." He extended his hand to her and flashed her his most charming smile. "Balthazar."

She paused for a moment before taking his hand and shaking it with a semi-firm grip. "Diana. Nice to meet you."

~ B ~

A month later, Diana walked through the threshold of Balthazar's store with her book of sheet music pressed against her chest and her purse hanging over her shoulder. The arrangement she and her mother had worked out with the British teacher meant that she had hour and a half long lessons twice a week at the store. Unfortunately her family wasn't able to afford a real piano, and even if they had there wouldn't have been any room for it at home, but they were able to find a low-priced keyboard that fit Diana's needs perfectly.

"Ah, ma chérie," Balthazar said from his seat at the piano bench. He had taken to calling her by the pet name and Diana found that she liked it very much. "You're here early."

She shrugged and smiled as she sat down next to Balthazar. "I was excited about today," she told him with a faint blush.

"Oh?" He smiled at the girl and braced one arm against the piano as he looked at her. "Why's that?"

"I just really enjoy our lessons." She looked at the piano and exhaled light through her nose. "I really love playing, even though I'm still not very good."

"Nonsense," Balthazar insisted. "You're learning incredibly fast. I'm very impressed with how quickly you've taken to the instrument."

Diana merely flushed again and smiled at the piano, avoiding looking into her teacher's eyes. "Thank you," she muttered shyly.

Balthazar was indeed impressed with his charge and how quickly she'd learned the basics of the instrument. Her knowledge of written music from her years in school had certainly helped save time during their lessons. She learned the fingerings to each note in just over a week, which had certainly surprised Balthazar, and even though she could only play very simple tunes she was happy.

The angel watched as she began to open her music and set it out on top of the piano. He had been incredibly pleased with himself when he looked into her mind during one of their lessons and stumbled across the crush she'd developed on him. Apparently British accents were highly appealing to her and she had a fondness for the shade of his eyes. The fact that she found his musical inclinations attractive in addition to his physical qualities only skyrocketed his ego.

The lesson went well, as it always did, and Diana had a large beaming smile on her face by the end. She'd managed to memorize a few scales during their lesson and was incredibly proud of herself. Balthazar told her what songs and scales to practice before praising her for her progress. With a flustered smile, Diana gathered her things, said goodbye, and exited the store.

As he usually did, Balthazar walked over to the windows at the front of the store and watched her leave. Diana stood on the curb of the sidewalk as her mother pulled into a parking space directly in front of the store. She looked over her shoulder and waved goodbye to Balthazar before she hopped inside her mother's car. Balthazar could feel the excitement in her mind as her mother backed out of the parking space and headed home. She was eager to go to her own piano and start practicing for their next lesson.

Although the music lessons hadn't completely cured her depression, as Balthazar knew would be the case, she had grown much happier over the last month. He would have been lying if he'd said that he wasn't glad his charge's mood had lightened. And although he would absolutely never admit anyone, not even himself, he had come to enjoy her company. She was shy and awkward and soft spoken, but also dedicated and passionate. Her love for music shone through every time she sat down at the piano. And she never failed to impress him, either. She spent hours at her keyboard at home, practicing for hours on end each day.

When he would watch her play at home, he often stayed behind long after she had finished because that was when she would sing. While her playing was still developing, her voice was already exquisite. She was a natural alto with an impressive low range and an equally impressive mezzo-soprano range. When she sang, the passion and love he saw only glimpses of during her playing was fully revealed. Her body swayed and her hands and arms danced in the air, her eyes would close and she would smile, and sometimes she would stand on her toes and dance with faintly ballet-esque movements. It was both amusing and enchanting to watch.

But there were some things even music could not cure for the girl. She still struggled with her depression on a daily basis, no thanks to her family. Her mother and grandmother were strictly religious, weekly churchgoers who made sure Diana was as religious as they were. They knew she was depressed, but she never told them the true reason why.

Balthazar truly pitied her; when he had first glimpsed inside her mind, he saw the main source of her pain and the damage it had done to her. For years, the girl had struggled with feelings she had been taught were wrong and sinful. She was attracted to both men and women, which was essentially forbidden in her family's point of view. Personally, Balthazar didn't understand the big deal. Neither he nor his father, or any other angel in heaven, prejudiced or judged a person because of their sexual orientation. He thought it silly and shallow that humans did so, but that didn't keep his charge from being hurt because of such judgements.

Because of humanity's decision to hate others because of who they found attractive, Diana had taken to keeping her identity a secret to all but her closest friend. She was terrified that if her family discovered her secret that she would be thrown out of her home, like what had happened with so many other humans her age. She hated going to church because she knew that if her friends there discovered what she had kept hidden, she would be turned away there as well. She often wondered if there was something wrong with her, which only made her guardian angel frustrated. He knew that there was nothing wrong with her and he hoped to one day help her realize that.

~ B ~

Diana sat at her piano, a tall brass lamp at her left her only light as she practiced. Her mother and grandmother were out having lunch somewhere after she had requested to stay home and work on some of her scales. Another two weeks had passed and thanks to Balthazar's lessons and her many hours of practice, she was starting to get better. Reading the sheet music was easier, her fingers flowed over the keys instead of stuttering, and most of her scales were memorized.

She loved these moments alone in the house because she felt free and at ease. She went through her scales one more time before shutting the keyboard off and moving to her bed. As much as she loved playing, her first love was singing and most likely always would be. Grabbing her phone, she opened the youtube app and searched through her playlists. When she found one that appealed to her, she gently pressed her finger against the play button on the screen and turned up the volume.

The haunting chords of ' _Young and Beautiful_ ' played from the phone's speakers and Diana closed her eyes as she leaned back on the bed. She hummed along at first, not knowing all of the words, but when the chorus played she gave herself into the music and sang out passionately.

" _Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful? Will you still love when I got nothing but my aching soul? I know you will, I know you will, I know that you will… Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?_ "

As the song continued, Diana kept singing with her eyes closed. She rarely sang with her eyes open because when she did close them, she could give herself fully to the music and let it move her freely. With closed eyes, she could listen more closely for harmonies and vibrato in the strings and the singer's voice.

" _Dear Lord, when I get to heaven please let me bring my man. When he comes tell me that you'll let him in. Father tell me if you can. Oh, that grace. Oh, that body. Oh, that face makes me wanna party. He's my sun, he makes me shine like diamonds…_ " With a deep breath, she sang along with the chorus again. The swelling of the music made it feel like she was floating.

The song soon switched to something less dramatic and a little more upbeat. Diana's eyes flew open and she sat up, still smiling a little. She grabbed her phone and pushed herself out of the bed. She trudged out of the room and headed down the hall towards the kitchen, suddenly craving a snack.

Halfway through a piece of buttered toast, the song changed to the Jackie Evancho cover of ' _My Heart Will Go On_ '. About two seconds into the song, there was a loud crack and Diana shrieked in terror. One of the hard plastic cups sitting on the sink across the kitchen had suddenly imploded.

"Holy shit," she gasped with a hand over her pounding heart.

She glanced around the kitchen, almost expecting to see someone or something there that had caused the cup's disfiguration. But when she saw nothing, she nervously approached the sink and tapped the cup once. It moved about a centimeter, but it didn't make any sudden movements that proved it was dangerous. Diana shook her head and gently held it in her hand as she walked over to the trashcan and disposed of it.

"Okay then," she mumbled. "Weird."

She had dropped her phone when the cup imploded, causing the music to skip forward a song, so she bent over and grabbed it again. She blew gently on the screen and looked over it to see if any part had cracked upon impact. When she was satisfied her phone wasn't broken in any way, Diana took another bite of her toast with a shrug and headed back to her room.

Meanwhile, Balthazar was breathing heavily and grimacing. He was glad he had maintained his invisibility during his outburst, but Father, how he _hated_ that song. He just wished he hadn't reacted so… violently. He hadn't meant to startle Diana. It's just that that song really, truly did make him want to smite himself.

~ B ~

Lessons continued with Balthazar twice weekly for another month as Diana progressed more and more. She was still struggling with her depression, her sexuality just one of the problems that plagued her, but both Balthazar and his lessons had improved her mood significantly. Despite the massive age difference between them, what with his apparent age, the two got along very well and found that they enjoyed the other's company. Although Balthazar still wouldn't admit it to anyone if he had been asked. She still harbored a schoolgirl crush on him and he had grown to care for the girl and her awkward tendencies.

Another couple of weeks later, Diana's curiosity was piqued when Balthazar guided her over to the table of sheet music instead of the piano at the beginning of their lesson. She looked over the boxes full of various music books for a few seconds before she turned to look into her teacher's brilliant blue eyes. He smiled at her and gestured to the first box.

"I thought perhaps we might do something a little different today," he explained. "Is there a movie or a musical that has music you would perhaps like to learn?"

Diana's eyes widened and she couldn't contain her little gasp of excitement. "Really?"

He nodded and pushed the first box closer to her torso. "Take a look. See if you find anything that catches your eye."

Her hands flew into the box and began rifling through each book, her eyes shining excitedly. For a minute she forgot that Balthazar was there watching her and she was entirely focused on the content in each book as she flipped through them. Every soundtrack she had ever wanted to learn to play was in that box, every musical she had ever fallen in love with was there.

She finally looked up at Balthazar and shook her head in amazement. "Where did you get all of these?" she asked. "There's so many."

He only smiled. "I have my ways, ma chérie."

Diana reached forward and pulled one book out, running her fingers over the cover with a lopsided smile. Balthazar leaned closer to her to see what she had chosen and made an approving sound in the back of throat.

" ' _Phantom of the Opera_ '," he read. "Hm. Good music, questionable story."

Diana grasped onto the book and stared at in with a wide grin. She glanced up at Balthazar and something in her smile warmed his heart. "Can I make copies of this?" she wondered. "So I can work on it at home?"

Balthazar smirked and leaned back slightly so he could see her face better. "You can keep it."

"What? Wait, really?"

He nodded. "Yes, of course, silly girl," he teased. "Now sit down at the piano."

The lesson started off with Balthazar playing for his pupil so she could hear how it was supposed to sound on piano. Much to Diana's delight, the words to each song were written under each stanza of music. Balthazar started off playing ' _Think of Me_ ' for her, smiling to himself when he heard her humming very softly beside him. As the piece came to an end, he glanced out of the corner of his eye and saw Diana sitting with her eyes closed and a smile.

The final chords stretched out between them and Diana's eyes opened as Balthazar leaned away from the piano. He looked at her for a moment before turning his gaze back to the music. He scooted a few inches to the side on the bench to give her more room and gestured to the music with a flourish of his hand.

"Now start with just your left hand and work on the chords first," he instructed.

Diana centered herself on the bench and leaned over the keyboard, her left hand hovering over the keys. She narrowed her eyes at the music as she tried to figure out where to place her fingers. It took a few moments, but she figured it out and gently rested her fingertips on the keys. She spared Balthazar a glance, silently asking if she was correct, and he nodded once at her with a tiny upturn of his lips.

"Take your time," he suggested as she started to move her hand. "Don't worry about me, ma chérie, just focus on where to put your fingers next."

She placed her pinkie on the right key, but her other fingers were confused and landed on the wrong keys. It made a harsh sound that made them both wince and Diana yanked her hand away like she'd been burned.

"You're nervous, it's alright. Try again. Go back to the beginning."

It only took a few tries after that, but Diana managed to get through the first line of music without hardly any mistakes. Sometimes she had trouble remembering where her fingers went for a certain note or chord, but she mostly went through each bar without too much trouble after a few minutes.

"Good, good," he praised gently. "Much better."

She grimaced a little and sigh lightly. "Sorry."

"No, no. Don't apologize."

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and started over again. Although she was still a little shaky, Diana played each chord correctly and she was grinning before very long.

"You see? Very good. Now, try playing just the right hand. And take it slowly, don't rush yourself."

Diana nodded in understanding and placed her hand appropriately according to the music. She played very slowly, messing up a few times since she was reading thematic for the first time, but the melody was unmistakable. She played it over a few more times until she felt more comfortable with it and then switched back to the left hand melody. She worked the two hands separately for close to forty-five minutes before Balthazar suggested she try the two hands together.

She stared wide-eyed at him. "But… I-I don't think-"

"Diana, just start off slowly."

She looked back at the music and swallowed nervously. "Okay," she sighed.

It was awkward and uncomfortable when she tried playing with both hands, but Balthazar encouraged her to try again. He reminded her that all she needed was to practice playing with both hands each day and before long, she would have the skill mastered. She tried a few more times, her fingers trembling slightly as she was eventually able to properly synchronize the two melodies.

Balthazar was just about to tell her how wonderfully she was doing when the door to the music store opened and her mother walked in. Diana whirled around in surprise and smiled when she saw who it was.

"Hi, Mom."

"Do you know what time it is?" her mother asked sternly. "I've been waiting outside for ten minutes."

Balthazar and Diana turned to look at each other in confusion. "Really?"

"Yes."

Both teacher and pupil smiled. They'd had so much fun working together on the song that they hadn't even bothered to check the clock. Diana didn't want to leave just yet, however, because she was enjoying her time with her teacher so much. But she grabbed her things anyway and gathered them in her arms.

"Work on playing both hands together," Balthazar told her as she stood up. "If you get stuck, just play each melody separately one time and then try again together."

She nodded and smiled. "Okay. Thank you, Balthazar."

"Of course, ma chérie."

She gave him an awkward little wave goodbye and then followed her mother outside. Balthazar leaned back against the piano and shook his head with a knowing smile. He adjusted his weight to his left arm and absently played the right hand melody of the song they'd been working on.

 _Think of me, think of me fondly, when we've said goodbye…_

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 **A/N: As you probably noticed, there will be a focus on music in this story. I don't see enough stories about people who are incredibly passionate about music, so this is my attempt at doing so. Balthazar is being surprisingly difficult to write, so sorry about that…**

 **Don't forget to review and let me know what you think!**


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